The very word has an old fashioned and outdated ring to it. I don't blame you if you're not even 100% sure what it means, since it's such an unpopular topic in our modern culture that it's rarely ever taught and never propagated.
Abstinence, at least in the way I'm using it here, refers to the idea that people willingly choose not to have sex before marriage and keep themselves from that form of intimacy until after a wedding has taken place.
Yip, it's an emotional topic and the very definition will provoke different reactions from different people. "That's weird?!" some might say, "What's the idea behind that?". "Ridiculous!" others will state and shake their heads.
Because in all seriousness, abstinence might have had its place in the middle ages when woman wore chastity belts of iron and men had to make vows of honourable intentions before approaching a lady, but thank goodness those days, with its restrictive regulations and pretentious fluff is long gone. Right?
And that's why abstinence is automatically an emotional topic. People hate boundaries and people hate to be told what they can and cannot do. The very idea that you're not allowed to do with your body as you see fit ("It's mine after all!") is offensive.
But this website is dedicated to the idea of sexual purity and I'm going to be talking in plain and honest terms about why waiting sexually is ALWAYS (not sometimes) the best way to go about your love life. Even if the idea doesn't appeal to you, you should at least consider reading more to explore the topic fully. Chances are, you aren't going to be hearing a lot about it from your peers or contemporaries.
But first, a caveat...
I'm a Christian and much of what I write here will make either direct reference to the Bible or to some form of Biblical principle. That doesn't mean that this stuff only applies to Christians. Even if you've never read the Bible or don't care much for religion, there's still a lot you can learn from it (Just like I, a seriously religious person, can learn from an atheist).
So please don't be put off because I bring my faith into this topic, translate it into whatever makes sense to you...
Want to read more?
Are you interested to learn more about abstinence and sexual purity? Have I tweaked your curiosity, I hope so. I've given a quick definition of abstinence, but for a more detailed one start here. I've also outlined some of the basic reasons why waiting sexually is ALWAYS the best, so read this article for some solid proofs.
People's ignorant view of abstinence and common view of sex is largely due to the events of the sexual revolution, so it ties in with our topic. If you're currently in your teens, 20's or 30's, the ideas of the sexual revolution have probably found its way into your head without you even knowing about it. So read this article for more information of that.
What about Christianity? Abstinence is a Christian principle and the Bible leaves little room for any other view of sex besides waiting until marriage. Why the prudish view and why do so many Christians still tie themselves to it? Read more about the Bible and abstinence in this article.
Along with arranged marriages and forced dowries, it's been locked away as an archaic and irrelevant idea that is largely absolute and completely unnecessary for us modern individuals who live in high-rise apartment buildings and drive sleek sports cars.
And even if you don't live in a apartment and don't have a fancy car, chances are you're still a part of that generation that sees sex as common and every-day. Something to be enjoyed with many people whenever and however you choose.
In direct opposition to the idea that sex is everyday and common, that having many sexual partners is normal, stands this principle of abstinence, the principle of keeping yourself physically pure and reserved for the one single individual who will one day be fortunate enough marry you.